Can I Save My Marriage After An Affair?

By: George Saunders

Whether or not a marriage can be saved after an affair will depend on understanding and evaluating several important factors. Unquestionably infidelity is not normal in a marriage, and it is extremely likely that the principle of cause and effect enters into play. Consideration and understanding needs to be given to a number of things that may have led to an affair.
<BR><BR>Personality
<BR><BR>Personality is simple to understand. Your personality is actually your outer self. You see, when you and your spouse met, personality played a huge role in attracting you to each other and building a relationship. At that time the two of you clicked on many levels, found common interests, and in general the chemistry was there. Granted, there may have been a few personality faults but they were easy to overlook or understand.
<BR><BR>Character
<BR><BR>Outside of the dictionary definition, character basically is the sum of all the qualities that you are born with in addition to those that you develop as a result of your life choices and experiences. These qualities encompass many areas, including but not limited to compassion, cooperation, faithfulness, forgiveness, respect, and many, many more. This really is your inner self and is not as easily observed as your personality.
<BR><BR>In the close quarters of marriage characters traits began to surface and play an increasingly big role in the success of the relationship. As character traits emerge, understanding, flexibility and clear channels of communication are essential in assuring the relationship stays strong.
<BR><BR>Failure to connect on this level is a major reason why a lot of marriages fail. Couples grow unhappy with the marriage, feel that they are being ignored, and there is a lack of communications and insensitivity for each others feelings.
<BR><BR>With time the relationship looses an awful lot in many ways causing a spouse to look elsewhere to compensate for those elements that have been lost. An affair offers the opportunity to do exactly that. When the injured spouse finds out about the affair, the shock, anger and the feeling of resentment coupled with the emotional hurt becomes devastating. A crazy cocktail of emotions such denial, grief and disgust only adds to the mental hurt.
<BR><BR>In evaluating your course of action, it may be difficult to look back at the time you first met and remember those things that attracted you to each other. After investing years of commitment to each other and to your marriage, does an affair mean that it is over? Do you really want to throw away 5, 10 or 15 years, or whatever time both of you have spent in marriage? It doesn’t have to be over. You and your spouse can take action to recover from the affair and save your marriage.
<BR><BR>As upsetting and heart breaking as an affair is, it is also an opportunity in disguise to revamp your lives and refocus your love relationship such ways that create respect, happiness and sincere intimacy. Flash back to the good times and concentrate on ways to return to those special things that drew you to each other to begin with.
<BR><BR>The marriage can be saved if you and your husband or wife wants to understand what’s ruining it. There often are effective measures to give couples increased odds at ending the extramarital affair, restoring honesty and <a href="grski.com/marriage infidel ity">build a awesome marriage</a>. The switch to WE instead of focusing on ME is achievable. In a nutshell it doesn’t have to be over.<BR><BR>

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